Grief is lonely, no matter how wonderful your support system is. You can surround yourself with people and still be lonely because you are so intensely aware of who was supposed to be with you. In stillbirth and miscarriage there is a special loneliness because your heart, womb, and arms feel so empty. The pain is isolating because how can you make people understand that you are mourning not only your child, but the lifetime of love and memories you were supposed to have? I hope sharing our loss helps someone feel a little less lonely, or maybe helps those around them understand what they are going through.
Our blog is not only for people who have experienced loss. If you have a loved one who lost a baby, or simply want a more intimate understanding of loss, we want to provide that education to people. Instead of navigating a world where we feel “other than”, I hope we can live in a world that includes and understands us.
Staying Together Through Stillbirth
It is no secret that grief is hard on a marriage. No two people grieve the same way, so how can a couple be expected to deal with grief individually while taking care of the other simultaneously? Sometimes all you need is a good day. You can not handle thinking about your loss and all you need is to distract yourself. What happens when your partner needs the same day to wallow in their grief and let out their pain? In marriage you compromise, so one or both sacrifice the day they need to help the other. Each person’s grief is just as important, so how do you decide whose needs get met? It’s just as difficult when both need to wallow and have time to themselves. The house needs taken care of, meals prepared, living children taken care of. One of you needs to be the strong one at any given point. Marriages crumble when one person is being the strong one too often. Their needs are not being met and resentment can build.